I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
