I think im going to throw up on grandma
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
