i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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