So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
