Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize