i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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