My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
