I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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