Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
