Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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