So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
