are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize