we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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