waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
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there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
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You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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