the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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