1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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