at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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