Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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