okay pat passed out under dana's car
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
