"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
