Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
