that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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