the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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