Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
