I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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