Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
