So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
