he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
