and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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