Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
