Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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