I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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