I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
