I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
