just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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