I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
