I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i love accidental penises.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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