I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
