I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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