I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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