its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
