Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im six kinds of drunk right now
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
