Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
