I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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