You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Are my feet made of real feet?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
my liver is dry heaving
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
