Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
