check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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