R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
