I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
