im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
