the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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