I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
