who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
