today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize