I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.