Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.

(248): View more from Michigan

I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah...you probably will...

(248): View more from Michigan

well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.

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(248): Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me. (248): I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it (734): Yeah...you probably will... (248): well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year. http://tfl.nu/3k5k

Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (1371)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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(816): I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up http://tfl.nu/d7fo

Replies (25) Good night (850) Bad night (5602)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

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(781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf

Replies (43) Good night (2540) Bad night (7675)
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(765): View more from Indiana

He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.

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(765): He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube. http://tfl.nu/tf6d

Replies (2) Good night (2149) Bad night (741)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.

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(405): I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities. http://tfl.nu/i4vg

Replies (7) Good night (791) Bad night (654)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.

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(920): If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujgb

Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (564)
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(801): View more from Utah

He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...

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(801): He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"... http://tfl.nu/bw0v

Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (1047)
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(410): View more from Maryland

That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think

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(410): That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think http://tfl.nu/xmfy

Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (500)
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(514): View more from Quebec

It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...

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(514): It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time... http://tfl.nu/8j5m

Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (390)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..

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(479): He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt.. http://tfl.nu/d4cr

Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (583)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I can only rely on you and Taco Bell

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(205): I can only rely on you and Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/u0ns

Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (233)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!

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(808): just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell! http://tfl.nu/l3nk

Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (405)
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(716): View more from New York

I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college

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(716): I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college http://tfl.nu/up0f

Replies (6) Good night (317) Bad night (364)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked

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(337): okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked http://tfl.nu/ethb

Replies (0) Good night (255) Bad night (109)
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(646): View more from New York

wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom

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(646): wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom http://tfl.nu/6knj

Replies (4) Good night (207) Bad night (385)

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