Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.