Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

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  (617): it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before. http://tfl.nu/1u0r
  Replies (20) Good night (510) Bad night (3653) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

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  (203): she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex. (860): what did you do? (203): i asked her out. that's so hot. http://tfl.nu/dg3d
  Replies (56) Good night (9427) Bad night (782)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

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  (570): there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line. http://tfl.nu/z4vy
  Replies (23) Good night (657) Bad night (3790) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

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  (858): Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them. http://tfl.nu/9mrx
  Replies (22) Good night (6287) Bad night (1107) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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  (409): First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance. http://tfl.nu/3lur
  Replies (32) Good night (9428) Bad night (1807) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.

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  (619): I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas. http://tfl.nu/5tys
  Replies (23) Good night (3833) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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  (616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn
  Replies (7) Good night (3252) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1025) Bad night (4377) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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  (306): you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue". http://tfl.nu/bqgp
  Replies (6) Good night (2416) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here

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  (248): Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here http://tfl.nu/ic1h
  Replies (7) Good night (2641) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."

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  (617): Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide." http://tfl.nu/7grl
  Replies (31) Good night (2548) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...

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  (401): Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him... http://tfl.nu/2jr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2044) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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  (478): I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second. http://tfl.nu/3zb1
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night

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  (973): Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night http://tfl.nu/x2gj
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out

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  (715): Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out http://tfl.nu/7lpk
  Replies (5) Good night (1006) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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