I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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