I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card