Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.