living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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