who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize