I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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