Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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