all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
