It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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