Already got asked if we're dating
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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