once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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