Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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