My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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