she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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